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The absolute best thing I like about being in the USA is this - that at the ripe old
age of 30 I still get carded whenever I try to get into bars or discos.
You're calling me shallow? Shut up and put those cucumbers back on your envious, crow feet-adorned
eyes. Well, I am shallow. I delight in stuff like these. When you've spent almost
half your life at voting age, when you start your day with agonizing wrinkle audits,
when memories of tequila nights, yoyo dieting and porkfests haunt you as you wait for your
blood pressure to be taken, when you realize that if you had gotten pregnant in
high school your son would be a college freshman by now, when the sight of pretty young things
in size 2 spaghetti strappies depresses you, it is no small source of ecstacy to have to prove to
the waiter that you are certainly old enough to drink that margarita. An exquisite
high to be refused entry at New York's Webster Hall because you have been mistaken for a
teenager. Nothing more rejuvenating, more life affirming than being accused of being
a minor. What's my point? Oh, nothing... this is just my intro
to my list of my favorite things, places, memories of the U.S. And the list goes:
the theater
roller coasters
outlet shopping
white water rafting
mariced
modern art museums
nodstrom
san francisco
relatives
buff construction workers
giant supermarkets
office depot
barnes & noble
crate & barrel
the village
Top of mind, I love the theater and the museums... now, now, I am not pretending
to be the artsy fartsy type... I am a shallow discount-seeiking mall-rat, a camera-toting
tourist (though I have not gone as far as taking the "visit the homes of the stars tour")
... but I do take the opportunity to catch a broadway play or visit a modern
art museum whenever I can because they are just so rare in my part of the world. I
love people watching, specially those buff construction workers sweating as they
lug heavy objects across the street. And the shopping can get pretty orgasmic
in this land of plenty. And the best thing of course are friends... yeah, even
better than being carded at 30.
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